I miss you...

Sometimes it just breaks my heart to be in a relationship..
There's moments you wish you could take back..and you'll regret forever because you did the wrong thing..You lost control, you argued or shouted or got mad at one another for some stupid reason.
and then there's the other times that easily outweigh the bad, where you laugh and smile thinking back..I just wish it could be that way all the time..
Love is a funny thing sometimes, it does funny things and makes us act in funny ways

Let's leave no words unspoken..and save regrets for the broken...

So here I am again, writing another blog post to make me smile.
I'm so in love right now it's crazy..I feel like I talk about him all the time, but he needs to know how special he is to me.
I've never had anyone I can 100% say I thank for everything..But that changed when I met Daniel.
He saved me.. from others and myself.
He's been so supportive..through my conditions and all the shit life throws at you.
I may have lost Gran and Grandad..But I certainly gained somebody who is worth their weight in gold with Daniel.
And I don't even know if he reads this anymore..he probably forgot it exists! But I just want to express to the world how important he is to me. I'd do anything for him..anything to erase the pain of his past experiences...I'd move the stars just to be with him for one night..
I just need to keep remembering that its not long until I see him again..And I get to be with him over xmas..which is always a really hard time of year for me
Please Daniel...If you're reading this...
I Love You more than I could love anybody in the world..
You've shown me how to begin loving myself again for who I actually am..And i'll never ever forget what you've done for me

I won't go home without you...

I feel like I can't eat
Or sleep.
I can barely breathe.
Since you left to go home about 2 hours ago.....
I wish I could've left with you..I'm unhappy here..
But then again I can't wait to see him again in 5 more weeks..when it's over until next March/April..when I have to come back..
I Love You Daniel Masterson <3 p="p">

So Beat it. Just Beat it.

People will dissect us till there's nothing left at all...

I feel like i've outgrown everybody- people play drinking games at university and I just think that its immature and childish to get that drunk that you can't even remember your name. I know its bad and don't get me wrong I love my roomies/housemates- they're fun. But at the end of the day you've gotta remember your priorities and getting "smashed" isn't one of mine, or having photos taken of it for that matter. They're so noisy, and messy. Mess i can deal with, noisy I can cope with but drunken numpties?

I'm definately older mentally than them.

Tell me something sweet to get me by...

I'm at university now..I got out of the cage. And although this past year I've fucked up and then tried to rectify it i'm now in a happy place. I'm studying veterinary nursing, i've got an amazing and supportive boyfriend/better half called Daniel and I've already made some lovely friends.

 I've lost
I've gained
and most important of all I've learnt to follow your heart and your dreams.
Even if they take you away from the person you love the most.
Daniel..I love you so very much. My rock, my boy, my everything.

I feel like crying until my throat hurts and my body aches and I can't cry anymore.
Its like i've lost you both all over again..I just want to make myself feel the physical side of the emotional pain I'm feeling. I can't stand it without you to support me anymore Grandma..
You're always missed..Trust me
Until we meet again, I Love You
xxx

You make me feel like I'm flying and falling at the same time...